Where “The Tourist” Took a Wrong Turn

Despite the fact that I did not love this film the first time around, sitting on a domestic flight with little else to watch, I decided to give “The Tourist” another try. Starring an array of other cast members along with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie I decided to assess if I had missed anything during my first viewing - I mean just why and how did Depp and Jolie get nominated for Golden Globes in 2011?  I had to investigate

I figured in order to come to a conclusion; I would make a list of all the things I found irksome with the film as I was watching. This will therefore be a rambling running list as I watch.  As you can imagine, it didn’t take long to get me started: -

1.    Opening scene - Jolie's outfit right from the start - OMG who wears long length gloves for a morning/afternoon stroll these days; do they even make them anymore?  This opening scene with an over the top costume seems to be a metaphor for the film that I am watching “Over the top and nice to look at but highly indulgent”.  With the orange ribbon belt hanging from her waist doing nothing other than drawing attention to her bottom, I complete my first judgment by asking how it is possible to complete a train ride from Paris to Venice with only a clutch (stylish as it may be) bag?  I have been known to be resourceful with how much I can get in a hand bag however, where is a gal to put her change purse, cell phone and spare girly products?  Luckily for Jolie’s “Elise” she is carrying her passport.  I guess if I were planning to have a coffee in the morning with my long gloves on, I would carry my passport too!

2.    Depp is supposed to be a legit tourist from the US “Frank” traveling through Europe and yet again, little baggage to make this ambitious trip - ok ok I know I am being a little baggage obsessed but c’mon.  At least he did carry his bed knobs and broomsticks-esque pajamas- are they available at Walmart? Does any man in the US wear those anymore? Good to see that they can hold up a chase through Venice along roof tops without even a tear. I wonder if they have spandex in them?

3.    Following an implausible boat chase through the windy canals in Venice, Jolie's character drops Frank off in raggedy (as raggedy as Jolie can get if you get my drift) jeans and sweater, makes her way to the agency still wearing her long gloves albeit a different pair than on the train (maybe a “buy one get one free” deal?) and between parking her boat and making her way into the building manages to get an entire wardrobe makeover and hair do…but she is still wearing the same gloves. I just don't get it!!!

4.    Jolie's awful Cat walk type walk – I just can’t even say anymore

5.    Depp is supposed to be a small town schoolteacher and yet, he is able to waltz flawlessly.  I took ballroom dancing for an entire term at college along with one lambada class and I still can't shimmy let alone one, two, three

6.    Obviously much of the budget was spent on costumes for Jolie since thee are no people or extras around on the streets of Venice?  I've been and there are people everywhere ALL of the time

7.    Jolie looks like fashion Barbie for most of the film

In spite of the fact that I still found many things that irritated me, I have to say surprisingly, I did enjoy the film a lot more on second viewing.  Maybe because I could see it for what it really was; an over indulgent, over the top silly would-be blockbuster which is at it's core a story about the lengths people go to for love, perhaps or just a form of great escapism that manages to transport you to another world for 90 minutes or so.  The one thing I loved loved loved of course the fact that this is shot in Venice.  It's worth watching just for that